The Buellton Post (Part II)
Pea Soup Andersens & Why I think the Danish Are to Blame for Buellton
To begin at the beginning for, yes, Part II of the story, Buellton is a city in the Santa Ynez Valley that can be found by veering off the US 101 north of Santa Barbara. By forcing yourself to slow down to an abrupt halt in order to stop there (on your way to far prettier places), you would actually be demonstrating the fundamental principle of inertia. This is, by no small coincidence, the very definition of Buellton’s disposition.
My new fiance and I have been setting up our own business, which has taken off quite well. But as new pilots of our independent business, we’re in no place to be spending large amounts of cash on a trip, however special the occasion. Hooked on finding the cheapest hotel available, we scoured all the AAA and United Mileage deals we could, and settled on Best Western Pea Soup Andersen’s.
The room itself is just fine. Clean, roomy, comfortable. The bathrooms were kind of strange and only had those tiny soaps and an assortment of oddly sized towels. What’s to complain about when you’re staying in Buellton for less than $100? Most of the other hotels we passed along the way looked like prime locations for a Psycho shot-for-shot remake, and quite frankly, I didn’t want to die.
After a night at The Hitching Post II, we decided to check out this self-proclaimed World Famous Split Pea Soup. Who was this Andersen, and why should he think his Split Pea Soup is the best? Compared to whom? From the hotel, you can literally roll your way over to the restaurant for breakfast, which is kind of what we did, still being full from the night before. Totally deserted on this sunny, bright, Sunday morning in May, we appeared to be the only guests until I noticed a troupe of leather-clad motorcyclists wandering in a similar state of wonder and disbelief. You know, the way the kids look when they arrive at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?
As we walked in the door, I flashed my fiance* a melon-sized grin. This place can only be described as a House of Extreme Tat: Wall to wall tacky souvenirs and pea soup memorabilia (is that the right word? I hadn’t experienced it yet, but now I really, really wanted to.) There is a Christmas gift shop, a jewelry gift shop, a sweet shop, and tinned goods piled on every shelf, all over the place. Postcards, t-shirts, magnets, pens, pencils, little boxes of crayons, all emblazoned with the bold alpine font, “Pea Soup Andersen’s Split Pea Soup World Famous Since 1924″. There was even a display reading “Try our famous Cheddar Cheese and Crackers”, but as I had no clue how long it had been sitting there, I backed away slowly.
In the restaurant, I ordered the Travelers’ Breakfast which consisted of a bowl of split pea soup, and a plate of bottomless pancakes (of course), eggs and a choice of breakfast meat. And whaddaya know – it wasn’t half bad. In fact, it was pretty good for a soup I don’t care for and still won’t order anywhere else. How’s that for a review?
Leaving what I thought was the dining room of the restaurant, I noticed a series of other rooms and seating areas, all decorated differently. Presumably they use different rooms for different occasions. And clearly myself, my fiance and our fellow diners who were on a Harley Davidson tour of Central Coast did not qualify as reason enough to be seated in the Room of Chintz. (My own title applied there, at Andersen’s they call it the Pavilion Room.) Everything in this building and in the decor of the hotel next door bears a remarkable resemblance to the colours of a breakfast danish. Which is why I think the Danes are to blame for this cultural sediment.
All in all, I was not shocked in the least to find that Buellton is the setting for the final sequence of Death Proof. The Pea Soup Andersen’s website says it “remains a slice of Americana”, but I would tack a word on to that sentence to ensure its accuracy: “Congealed”.
* The gratuitous use of the term “fiance” is entirely intentional and justified because I am extremely excited about our new state of affairs. If you don’t like it, you’re a Scrooge.
Think I made this up? See for yourself!:
http://www.peasoupandersens.net/
An old video I found with a Split Pea Andersen’s Commercial: See 1 minute 22 seconds to about 2 minutes 22 seconds
Tags: andersens split pea soup, buellton, central coast travel tips, famous split pea soup, food review, pea soup andersens, restaurant review, travel advice