I can comfortably credit a lot of stuff I’ve learned outside my field to movies, and cooking is no exception. Food and cooking is an integral part of storytelling. When I recently watched the Disney/Pixar film Ratatouille, I was struck by how wonderfully instructional it is. In the story, Colette is a chef at Gousteau’s, a famous Parisian restaurant, and is showing Linguini, the new guy, the ropes around the kitchen. The late Chef Gousteau had published a book titled ‘Anyone Can Cook’ that inspires the main character of the movie (a charming rat named Remy) to be a cook, too. The movie is inspirational and I challange anyone to watch it and not head straight for their kitchen afterwards. But as with anything else you watch, the instructions she gives should be taken with a grain of salt.

Colette’s “Rules”

1. Energy and Time

A good chef knows how to time her (or his!) cooking. She should map out the road to dinnertime carefully to maximize efficiency, minimize disaster and still have enough verve to clean up and look good sitting down to enjoy it. Before I start sounding like a 1950′s Home Economics textbook, it is a talent you have anyway. Everyone makes lists, and for someone particularly concerned with timing, all it takes is reading the recipes an thinking: “If this take X minutes to bake, what am I doing while the oven’s on?”. You honestly don’t need a sous-chef and a plongeur to make an edible, homecooked three-course meal, just good organization.

Example: When making an omelet for my nephew, I’ll ask him to beat the eggs while I’m chopping some veggies. This is great for him because he actively takes part in the food making, and understands from such an early age the importance of cleanliness by washing his hands before and after handling raw food.

2. Clean As You Go

I learned this from the signs behind every cafe counter in London, which probably replaced the “Keep Calm and Carry On” signs after the Second World War, and haven’t been replaced since. Colette delicately reminds Linguini that his sleeves look like somebody threw up on them, which could lead to someone who eats your cooking to throw up on you. As a novice in the kitchen, this was the first rule I followed strictly saving both energy and time. (See above.) Keeping your “station” clear means you’re also constantly thinking about how to clean-as-you-go, thereby saving yourself hours by the sink after the cooking rush is over and the actual dining is all done.

3. “…hands and arms IN minimizes cuts and burns!”

This rule goes arm in arm with “Know Your Tools”. A sturdy work surface and quality chopping board will avoid the slips and sliding around that are the cause of most of my own cooking scars. Keeping fingers tucked in while chopping should keep you from attacking your nails with that knife, and as your mother always told you, a good posture will keep your activity under control *and* make you look confident, too. Double whammy.

4. “Judge the quality of bread not by smell or look but by sound…”

…and there, the sound of gorgeous French bread being crushed. All I need to start drooling with longing for a proper French baguette. My own rule of thumb while living in England was to see if the bread would bounce back to it’s original state in a few seconds. Stale or second day bread was unlikely to do this, even when it looked like it was fresh out of the oven. In California, I find it a little harder to judge, as most bread has a sourdough flavour to it, and thus has a longer shelf life anyway. (More on the bread topic to come as I believe much of this bread controversy also has to do with longitude, latitude, or at least altitude. Stay tuned.)

5. Getting First Pick Of The Day

Colette’s rule to “grow it yourself or buy a grower’s direct from the market” isn’t always feasible, but she’s right that the early bird gets the worms here. Hitting your local farmer’s market first thing in the morning is a good idea on a number of levels: a) it gets you up early and finishing this first errand quickly, b) it’s not crowded in the least, nor is there any traffic on the way and c) (oh, that’s right, we’re talking about food) you’ll see the freshest of the lot, probably picked or plucked from it’s natural growth environment only hours before.

HOWEVER, there is a point where my path and Colette’s diverge in the woods: I don’t agree with her hard and fast rule to follow the recipe. As she learns from Linguini, a little imagination will take you a long way. Just like Colette describes the cooks in the kitchen, as a chef you have the liberty of being The Artist. Don’t use an ingredient if you don’t like the taste of it. Use more of an ingredient you do like. Replace one ingredient with one that isn’t in the recipe and instantly, you make it your own. You might hit disaster once or twice and end up ordering takeout, but who cares? You’re learning and it’s a life skill. (And, Frost fanatics, that makes all the difference.)